Post your jokes here - rude, lude, crude or wholesome. 

Why was the Penguin's head cold?

Because he was wearing an ice cap.

(Thank you Penguin bar for starting this thread)

One of the only jokes I know but extremely funny. Way better in person but the joke still hits in writing. Here goes. 

A father asks his son what he wants for his birthday. His son replies, "I don't want a lot for my birthday this year. All I want...is a pink rubber ball."

"Really?" The father asks, "Are you sure that's all you want? I have no shortage of money, and I will spare no expense to make you happy."

"Yes, I'm sure," replied the son, "All I want is one pink rubber ball."

So the father drives to the local toy store and buys a single pink rubber ball. He brings it home to his son, who takes it and brings it into his room. After a few hours he emerges, but the ball was never to be seen again.

One year later, the father again asks his son what he wants for his birthday.

His son answers, "This year, I want a bucket full of pink rubber balls."

Without questioning, the father drives to the local toy store and buys a bucket of pink rubber balls. He brings the bucket home to his son, who, once again, takes it into his room. After a few hours his son emerges from his room, and the bucket was never to be seen again.

A year later, the father again asks his son what he wants for his birthday.

His son answers, "This year, I want a truck load of pink rubber balls."

So the father contacts the company who makes the pink rubber balls and asks them to send one of their trucks to his address. The truck arrives in their driveway a day later. His son opens up the truck, climbs inside, and shuts the door behind him. A few hours later he opens the door and climbs out of the truck, but much to the father's suprise, the truck was completely empty.

A year later, the father again asks his son what he wants for his birthday.

His son answers, "This year, I want a boat load of pink rubber balls."

So the father once again contacts the makers of the pink rubber balls, but this time he asks for them to send one of their freighters to the nearest harbor. When the ship arrives, the father drives his son to the harbor. His son climbs aboard the ship and orders all of the workers to leave. After a few hours the son walks out of the ship and onto the dock. Without saying anything, they get into their car and leave.

A year later, the son's birthday was only a few days away, but he suddenly became very sick. Their doctor informed them that he had stage three terminal cancer and didn't have much time left.

On his birthday, the son was lying in a hospital bed while his father sat next to him.

The father said, "If there's anything I can get for you, son. Anything at all. Ask and it will be yours."

"There's only one thing I want," the son replied weakly, "If you could drive to the toy store and get me a single pink rubber ball, I would be happy in my final moments."

Without wasting a second, the father got into his car and rushed to the toy store to get the ball for his son.

He arrived back at the hospital and gave the ball to his son.

"Thank you," said the son, "Now if you could leave the room for fifteen minutes, that would make me even happier."

"Okay." Replied his father, "But when I come back in, will you tell me what you've been doing with all those pink rubber balls?"

"Yes, I believe it's time for someone to know my secret." Replied the son.

The father quietly left the hospital room. Fifteen minutes later, he reenters the room. As always, the ball was no where to be seen.

"Now will you tell me this secret you've kept for so long?" Said the father, desperate to learn the truth.

"Yes." Said the son. "The reason I wanted the pink rubber balls...is....."

Then he died.

Welcome Janetnelson. Took me a moment but that joke made me smirk