YoBudweiser   - Its important to be able to speak about these things, especially if its a sticking point in the household.

If you are in control, and you know you can stay that way, then It shouldnt be an issue, but I can see if from her point of view aswell.
Maybe schedule some time to sit down and speak with her.

It's sort of like alcohol really, if she had been with someone who had a problem with it, and then she stops you having a cheeky beer on a friday night, when you have no such issues...
Perhaps invite her to participate in some small way or even just sit with you, partially to show her that you don't have a problem, and partially so she feels in control of the situation?

🤷

I find those that gamble do not understand why someone would do it or why they would lose the amounts they can. From that most view it as stupid. Most of the time they are right.

Long story short I've had girlfriends, family and friends think like that, get angry and even disown me. This however is all on me because for a long time i let it control me. 

I've learnt the very hard way to control gambling to the point of the above not happening. With my closest friends who have stuck by me I've sat them down to explain why I do it, how I have to control, what can trigger issues and how they can help. Its been great to give them the understanding and be able to talk about wins and losses without being ashamed about gambling like I used to be. This is too late for family though and some are not willing to listen due to past actions. 

Do not hide things as it will damage your relationship. I've been there. Try to be as open as possible and show why you do it, how you keep things in check and how you budget it. Set a single time in the week or month where its agreed you'll have a little session if it helps so you aren't hiding it. However, if your partner is not willing to talk or listen you may find that it's just best to knock out on the head.....either the gambling or the relationship. Depends which means more. Sometimes you can't have both, I know. 

Whatever you do, don't hide anything. 

Hi Yobudweiser,

I would not even pretend to understand the dynamic of your own relationshio with your partner. If she had bad experiences with a partner gambling her behaviour may well be driven by fear or fury. The only thing i would say is that there are few things more destructive in a relationship that a lack of trust.

Once that bond is broken it can be hugely difficult, if not impossible,to repair. 

I am quite open about how much I gamble but then again my partner also gambles and we share a bank account and have done so for over thity years. We regard wins as our wins and losses as our losses.

For a lot of people it is much more complicated though and especially so if one is a gambler and the other is not.

I'm sure there are lots of different viewpoints on this.